8 Epic Skills Making You Easy To Talk To
Do you have that one person in your life who is unique and fun to be around? They have jokes, charisma, good advice but what makes them stand out are the qualities that make them easy to talk to and be around.
When a person is easy to talk to, they have that “it” factor with a conversation, and family and friends feel appreciated and understood.
Our easy to talk to friends lack negative traits such as selfishness, insincerity, selfishness, and tend not to complain.
When people are optimistic, cheerful, and charming, they don’t have the daily negative thoughts or habits that put people off.
Here are 8 Skills That Make You Easy To Talk To:
- Let the other person talk more
- Encourage and be positive
- Ask them about their interests
- Understand what they’re going through
- Don’t judge
- Laugh with them
- Switch to other topics
- Make Eye Contact
According to Mike Laauwe on Quora, “Being kind and listening to understand is key to being easy to talk to. Be in the present moment and pay attention to not only what they are saying but also their emotions.
Don’t pass judgement and be empathetic. Learn about them and find common interests while showing your emotions as well.”
Let’s go deeper into each one of these qualities so you can learn how to be easy to talk to.
How To Be Easy To Talk To
Let The Other Person Talk
We love to talk about ourselves, and this is proven by science that we spend almost 40 percent of conversation speaking about ourselves.
I’m not a massive talker by personality; I believe that’s why I’m easy to talk to.
I remain engaged in the conversation allowing the other person to express themselves and do most of the talking.
During a conversation, you will be tempted to interrupt and share what you have to say, but the trick is to hold off and continue to focus on the other person first.
People enjoy talking about themselves, and research has shown that it is pleasurable. The brain’s reward centers are lit up by good food, cocaine, and sex also are activated by talking about yourself.
It makes sense people feel good and positively about a conversation where they are in the spotlight.
Giving the other person enough time to express themselves without interrupting them can also make them feel more comfortable and respected.
It’s essential to resist the temptation to jump in and offer advice or opinions, especially before they have finished talking.
Instead, focus on listening actively and asking open-ended questions to encourage them to continue sharing their thoughts and feelings.
Letting the other person talk is a crucial skill that can make you more approachable and easy to talk to.
It shows that you are willing to give them space to express themselves and that you are genuinely interested in what they have to say.
It’s even entirely possible that the other person might feel that someone is hearing them for the first time in a while.
Encourage And Be Positive
Keep venting and complaining to a minimum, as it’s much easier to be around people who do. People don’t like perpetual complainers.
People who don’t complain project a positive attitude and tend to think of solutions instead of problems.
Keeping a positive attitude is easier said than done, but the person you’re talking to will find you more likable.
When a conversation feels good, it’s usually easy too.
Throughout your discussion, try to offer genuine compliments about something the other person said.
By using positive language, focusing on the positive, offering praise and recognition, showing gratitude, and being enthusiastic, you can create a supportive and uplifting environment that helps the other person feel comfortable and confident.
Being enthusiastic and excited can be contagious. When you show enthusiasm for the conversation or activity, you help to create a positive and energizing environment that can encourage the other person to engage more fully.
A few kind words and encouragement can go along way, making you easy to talk to.
Ask Them About Their Interests
When you talk with someone who shares mutual interests, it is easier to engage and share stories.
You may not find the right topic right away but slowly keep asking questions until you find something you have in common.
Ask follow-up questions, and show enthusiasm by actively listening to their responses.
Additionally, you can use open-ended questions to encourage the person to share more about their interests.
Instead of asking yes or no questions, you can ask questions that require more detailed answers.
Here are some detailed questions that you can ask to learn more about someone’s interests:
- What inspired you to pursue this hobby or interest?
- Can you tell me more about your favorite hobby and why you enjoy it?
- How did you first get interested in [insert interest]?
- What are some of the challenges you face with this interest, and how do you overcome them?
- Can you share some of your favorite experiences or memories related to this interest?
- What are some of the things you hope to achieve or experience through your hobby or interest?
- How has your interest or hobby impacted your life or influenced your worldview?
- Can you recommend any resources, books, or websites related to this interest that you find helpful or inspiring?
- Have you ever tried combining your hobby or interest with another passion or skill?
- What are some of your long-term goals or aspirations related to your hobby or interest?
These questions are designed to encourage the other person to share more about their interests and provide more detailed responses that can help you better understand them.
You can show that you are listening by nodding, maintaining eye contact, and using verbal cues such as “mm-hmm” or “uh-huh” to indicate that you are engaged in the conversation.
It’s shown by research; we tend to gravitate towards people who are similar to us. This is called the similarity-attraction effect, where we share like-minded attitudes and values.
If you don’t fully understand or have another person’s same interest, you can still say things you know about that interest.
When you don’t share the other person’s interest, keep the conversation positive and ask thoughtful questions.
Find common interests as this makes it easy to talk to someone. You could talk about easy things like family, work or school.
You can form a bond with someone over fun things in life or sharing struggles, and that will make you seem easy to talk to.
Understand What They’re Going Through
We all have struggles, and sometimes people want you to listen to what they’re going through.
Understanding what someone is going through requires empathy, active listening, and a willingness to put yourself in their shoes.
Empathy means understanding and sharing the other person’s feelings.
Try to imagine how they are feeling and acknowledge their emotions and struggles and show empathy by validating their feelings and expressing support.
For example, you might say, “I can imagine how difficult that must be for you,” or “I’m here for you, and I want to support you in any way that I can.”
If they seem to be going through something, ask about the challenges they’re facing in life.
Ask them how things are going for them right now.
When they open up about their struggle, listen attentively and genuinely.
Ask them questions if the conversation allows them and dive deeper into their emotions and thoughts.
Show you care about what’s happening and what they’re going through.
Reflecting back on what the other person has said can help clarify any misunderstandings and demonstrate that you understand their perspective.
This involves summarizing or paraphrasing what they have said to show that you are listening and understand their point of view.
Be patient and avoid judging or criticizing the other person, even if you disagree with their choices or actions. Instead, offer to help them in any way that you can, whether it’s providing emotional support or practical assistance.
Remember that understanding what someone is going through takes time and patience, but by doing so, you can deepen your connection with the other person and help them feel heard and supported.
People will often feel you’re easy to talk to when they are comfortable opening up about their thoughts and emotions.
Don’t Judge
People like to be heard and understood, but they don’t want to be judged for their thoughts. Don’t judge them for how they feel or what they’ve done or are going through.
It’s not always easy, and it’s not our place to judge, but most people find I’m easy to talk to because I don’t criticize them for what they are thinking.
Judging others can make them feel attacked or criticized, which can shut down communication and hinder the development of a positive relationship.
If you disagree with someone in a kind and gentle way, offer your thoughts while still respecting them.
Forcing someone to see your point of view can be a turn-off.
To avoid judging others, it’s important to adopt an open and accepting mindset.
Try to approach conversations with curiosity and an eagerness to learn more about the other person’s perspective, rather than a desire to impose your own values or opinions.
Deep conversations happen when you are open to hearing about the other person’s ideas instead of forcing yours on them.
If you find yourself disagreeing with something the other person says, take a moment to reflect on why you disagree and try to understand their point of view.
Ask open-ended questions to clarify their reasoning, and try to identify areas of common ground that you can build on.
If you are non-judgemental toward someone, they will think you’re easy to talk to.
Laugh With Them
Laughter between two people helps make a great connection and is one of the most comfortable conversations.
During the discussion, find a way to kid about yourself or your situation and have a good laugh.
When you laugh with someone, it creates a positive and uplifting environment that can make them feel at ease and more willing to open up.
Here are some tips on how to laugh with someone:
- Be lighthearted: Try to approach conversations with a lighthearted attitude and a sense of humor. Be open to making jokes and finding the funny side of things, even in serious situations.
- Share amusing stories: Sharing amusing stories or anecdotes can be a great way to break the ice and make people feel more relaxed. It can also help to find common ground and build a shared sense of humor.
- Use self-deprecating humor: Using self-deprecating humor can help to create a more relaxed and non-judgmental environment. It can also show that you are willing to laugh at yourself and not take yourself too seriously.
- Avoid offensive humor: While humor can be a powerful tool, it’s important to be mindful of the other person’s boundaries and avoid offensive or insensitive humor.
- Don’t force it: Laughter should come naturally and not be forced. If the other person doesn’t seem to find something funny, don’t push it.
Everyone likes to laugh, and it helps take the edge off of any situation and makes people feel comfortable around you.
Ask Questions That Lead To Other Topics
A healthy and normal conversation will lead to other discussion topics by asking the right types of questions.
For example, instead of the question, “Where are you from?” ask, “So what’s cool about where you are from?”
Using different wording will give you a more in-depth back-and-forth instead of a one-word answer.
If a conversation feels seamless, people tend to enjoy talking to you. It’s easy to talk to someone who can talk about different things and keep the discussion flowing. Not everybody has this simple trait, but with practice, you can become good at it.
Make Eye Contact
When you have a conversation with someone, make sure you make eye contact with them. I understand it’s hard for some, but making eye contact is critical.
You don’t want to stare continuously at the person as this may freak them out, so the general rule of thumb is to look for a few seconds and then look away, then back again.
It demonstrates confidence, sincerity, and respect and helps to establish trust and build rapport with the other person.
To make effective eye contact, there are a few things to keep in mind.
First, it’s important to maintain a comfortable distance from the other person.
Standing or sitting too close can make eye contact uncomfortable, while being too far away can make it difficult to establish a connection.
Find a distance that feels comfortable for both of you and allows for natural eye contact.
Second, focus your gaze on the other person’s eyes.
This shows that you are engaged and interested in what they are saying.
However, be careful not to stare, as this can make the other person feel uncomfortable.
It’s also okay to look at other parts of their face, such as their nose or mouth, to avoid making them feel uneasy.
Third, when you make eye contact, try to maintain it for a few seconds.
Looking away too quickly can come across as disinterested or insincere.
However, it’s also important to avoid staring for too long, as this can make the other person feel uncomfortable.
Finally, it’s important to be mindful of cultural differences when it comes to eye contact.
In some cultures, direct eye contact is seen as a sign of respect, while in others, it may be seen as confrontational.
Be sensitive to the other person’s cultural background and adjust your eye contact accordingly.
This makes for a natural amount of eye contact and is enough for the person to feel acknowledged and making you easy to talk to.
You’re Easy To Talk To
These simple techniques are all you need, so people feel it’s not hard to talk to you. Most importantly is paying attention and being in the moment, and not letting your mind wander.
Reread the post if you need to, and continue to follow these simple tips when you meet someone new and have a conversation.
Be mindful and don’t pass judgment on others as you wouldn’t want to be judged yourself. Make the conversation fun and upbeat, and enjoy yourself.
When you see someone you’d like to talk with, go up to them and strike up a conversation, if you work on these skills, you will be easy to talk to.
According to Richard Berry it’s about making the person comfortable while talking to them.
His key pointers are:
- Listen attentively
- Be empathetic
- Don’t judge and keep an open mind
- Learn and care about what they talk about
- Find common interests
- Both of you show emotions
Richard also mentions being kind and if you follow these steps you’ll be easy to talk to.
Most people just want to be heard and understood. Improving your listening skills and actually hearing what they say and being in the present moment is key. Listen to understand.
Pay attention to their emotions along with their words.
Be yourself, relax and know that no ones life is perfect; keep the judgements out of the conversation.
Related Posts:
How Can I Be More Fun To Talk To?
There are many different ways to be fun to talk to and, most importantly, being in the moment and paying attention to the conversation. Here are some pointers of how to be more fun to talk to:
- Ask follow up questions
- Be positive
- Don’t just give yes or no answers
- Give compliments
- Give return questions
- Remember what people tell you
How Can I Be A Good Person To Talk To?
Here’s how you can be a good person to talk to:
- Encourage people to talk about themselves
- Don’t try to impress
- Ask questions
- Find similarities
- Listen to what they say
- Progress the conversation
- Be enthusiastic and have emotion
- Give compliments