55 Insulting Snarky Quotes

Looking to use some sass during your day? A compliment with a bit of sarcasm? We’ve complied the best snarky quotes for you to use or laugh at.

When people ask me stupid questions, it is my legal obligation to give a sarcastic remark.

If had a dollar for every smart thing you say. I’ll be poor.

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until they speak.

Steven Wright
snarky quotes

Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

I’m not saying I hate you, what I’m saying is that you are literally the Monday of my life.

Just because I don’t care doesn’t mean I don’t understand.

Sarcasm is the secret language that everyone uses when they want to say something mean to your face.

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It’s okay if you don’t like me. Not everyone has good taste.

Who knew Demon Child would have such a normal name? I expected something exotic like Serena or Destiny or the Evil One That Comes in the Night to Make Us Chilly.

Darynda Jones

At the risk of hurting your feelings, I think you should know that some kisses are more special than others.

Jessica Steele

I’m pretty resourceful and I think of all of my options. Alcohol is one of them.

Today I’m wearing a lovely shade of I slept like shit so don’t piss me off.

Are you always so stupid or is today a special occasion?

If I wanted to kill myself I would climb your ego and jump to your IQ.

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My imaginary friend says that you need a therapist.

Well at least your mom thinks you’re pretty.

That is the ugliest top I’ve ever seen, yet it compliments your face perfectly.

Just keep talking, I yawn when I’m interested.

Me pretending to listen should be enough for you.

Zombies eat brains. You’re safe.

If karma doesn’t hit you, I gladly will.

I’d agree with you but then we’d both be wrong.

If ignorance is bliss. You must be the happiest person on this planet.

If I promise to miss you, will you go away?

I had my patience tested. I’m negative

Monday is like that person who showed up to your party un-invited. Like you’ll allow it, but honestly…how rude.

Now when you say staring, are you including yourself in this assessment? I recall you taking in the view on several occasions.

Stacey O’Neale

I’ve got a good heart but this mouth…

Life’s good, you should get one.

Don’t worry about what people think. They don’t do it very often.

People say that laughter is the best medicine… your face must be curing the world.

Always remember that you’re unique. Just like everyone else.

Yet despite the look on my face… you are still talking.

I love sarcasm. It’s like punching people in the face but with words.

You look good when your eyes are closed, but you look the best when my eyes closed.

Unless your name is Google stop acting like you know everything.

I’d tell you to go to hell, but I work there and don’t want to see your ugly mug every day.

Fighting with me is like being in the special Olympics. You may win, but in the end you’re still a retard.

I’m not listening, but keep talking. I enjoy the way your voice makes my ears bleed.

Sarcasm is the body’s natural defense against stupidity.

Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit! Yet it remains the funniest!

If you’re waiting for me to give a shit, you better pack a lunch. It’s going to be while.

Keep rolling your eyes. Maybe you’ll find a brain back there.

Shut your mouth when you’re talking to me.

My friends are so much cooler than yours. They’re invisible.

If I promise to miss you, will you go away?

Thank you for leaving my side when I was alone. I realized I can do so much without you.

Ugliness can be fixed, stupidity is forever.

I’m not sarcastic. I’m just intelligent beyond your understanding.

My neighbor’s diary says that I have boundary issues.

Everyone has the right to be stupid, but you are abusing the privilege.

Sometimes I need what only you can provide: your absence.

Ashleigh Brilliant

Sarcasm – the ability to insult idiots without them realizing it.

If you find me offensive. Then I suggest you quit finding me.

I don’t believe in plastic surgery. But in your case, go ahead.

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