We all want to be confident, have good self-esteem, and speak easily in social situations.
There’s one problem – many of us are doing it all wrong.
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We’re trying to increase our self-esteem in the wrong way, and we keep thinking that it’ll work and be confident and on top of the world.
For example, we may change something about ourselves on the outside; maybe you change your job or your relationships.
It may make you feel good about yourself, but it lasts for a short time.
Our self-esteem and confidence can’t be changed from the outside.
Self-esteem, self-awareness, our self-worth comes from the inside, and it’s what you think about yourself.
Today, we will talk about the six keys to self-esteem or the six pillars of self-esteem and how you can better your mental well-being.
Learning these six pillars of self-esteem is life-changing.
Welcome, friends; if you’re new here, I’m Mike, a certified life coach, writer, and creator of Positive Thinking Mind.com, where I dive deep into topics such as self-esteem, anxiety, self-confidence, and so much more.
In my courses, I show you ways to make a shift to move forward instead of being held back, stuck, and frustrated.
You’ll learn how to build your self-esteem, think more positively and be happier. I want you to be all you can be in this life by changing how you think and feel about yourself.
I believe in you, and I want you to believe in you.
And mastering these six pillars of self-esteem, being intentional, and changing our mindset, changes how we look and view ourselves and the world around us.
According to Nathaniel Braden, who wrote the fantastic book, The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem, breaks down self-esteem into two parts.
Self-efficacy and a sense of personal worth.
Now, self-efficacy is our ability to think for ourselves or a person’s belief in their ability to succeed in a specific situation.
The second part is personal worth or how much we value ourselves and whether you believe you deserve to have good things or a good life.
Now let’s take a few minutes to explore these six pillars that create healthy self-esteem.
First is practicing living consciously and is the practice of being in the present moment in whatever it is you are doing.
Living consciously is also understanding yourself, knowing the importance of self-awareness, and understanding your strengths, weaknesses, and limitations.
Are we consciously aware of our thoughts and feelings and making intentional choices?
Or are we just going along with all that’s happening around us?
Do we think that I should go along with it and have no choice or be scared to make that choice because we’re afraid of the consequence of that choice?
We are in control of our lives and our thinking, and we all have the power to make choices and live consciously.
Living consciously, we’re in control of our thoughts and feelings; we have the power and the choice of our own experiences and how we think and experience things.
Our next pillar of self-esteem is self-acceptance.
Learning to accept yourself and who you are is vital; higher self-esteem isn’t possible without it.
Self-acceptance is accepting your thoughts, desires, and needs and saying I am who I am right now, and accepting that.
Now, this doesn’t mean running out and satisfying them, but it means you don’t have to shame yourself for having the thoughts you have.
It’s not easy and takes work to accept yourself, especially if you struggle with self-criticism and self-hate daily.
Many of these negative thoughts we think about ourselves, we’ve been told or taught to believe that we’re not good enough.
Our experiences have taught us that we need to be someone else to be prettier, successful, or smarter.
Self-acceptance is accepting who you are right now.
Whether it’s good or bad or right or wrong.
We all have things we’re working on; I have things I’m working on, on myself.
I’m typically an anxious person, and social situations and large crowds bring up that anxiety in me.
Do I like it? No. Do I accept myself and the feelings I have? Yes.
Because I’ve learned, I’m not the only one with these feelings and thoughts, and learning new ways to cope and accept these feelings and thoughts, actually helps me.
Our natural way of being human is our worthiness and not feeling good enough; we must learn, grow, and be ourselves.
The third pillar is self-responsibility
Self-responsibility is taking charge of our own healing, breaking free from our pain because no one will do it for us.
We don’t have to fake being positive or ignore bad things.
We have to keep moving forward, take responsibility, and make things happen instead of passively waiting for something good to happen.
Next is self-assertiveness, and I know many people who have trouble speaking up and asserting themselves and saying what they feel.
They worry about offending someone or hurting their feelings, and worrying people won’t like them.
Worrying people will think they’re a difficult person or stupid or something else.
When we don’t speak up, we suffer in silence or feel trapped and frustrated.
In the book, he says, self-assertiveness means the willingness
to stand up for myself to be Who I am openly, to treat myself with respect.
Know that your voice counts, your voice matters, and speaking up comes with healthy self-esteem.
Believe in yourself.
And to help you, I’ve created this fantastic self-esteem course, The Complete Guide To Self-Esteem.
You’ll learn all about self-esteem, and the key is understanding who you are and what you are capable of right now.
Once you understand your self-worth and self-esteem and use proven strategies and practices, you can see real progress.
The Complete Guide to Self-Esteem gives you the power to objectively and appropriately gauge your level of self-esteem and self-worth.
Arm yourself with the powerful ability to boost your esteem to new heights and enjoy more fulfillment, happiness, and success in all areas of your life.
Our next pillar of self-esteem is living purposely.
Living life on purpose and intention is important because it means you’re not just going through the motions.
If I live on purpose, I’m growing and constantly improving myself and having goals.
My purpose has changed many times throughout my life.
Maybe your purpose is to help others who don’t have as much as you.
Maybe your purpose is to be a great parent to your children.
It doesn’t matter what your purpose is.
If your purpose makes a difference in the world, making an impact, that’s what matters.
If you’re learning new skills and investing in yourself, you’re growing your self-esteem and making a positive difference in the world.
Our sixth pillar of self-esteem is personal integrity and holding yourself to higher standards.
This doesn’t mean you have to be this morally righteous person who never makes mistakes.
Personal integrity is more like being responsible for yourself and fulfilling the promises you make to yourself.
It’s like when you’re at work, and you can leave early because no one is looking, but you decide to stay and go the extra mile because you have personal integrity.
Having personal integrity is walking the talk and doing what you say.
For example, if you say you’re gonna go to the gym every day or eat healthier, what happens?
You don’t stick with it.
Having personal integrity doesn’t mean you’re on it one hundred percent of the time, but it’s about making achievable, sustainable goals.
Being able to keep our promises to ourselves leads to integrity.
It’s almost like being in a relationship, doing or not doing things we said we would do.
We’re breaking a promise to that other person.
It damages our relationship with that person.
Not keeping promises with ourselves damages our relationships with ourselves.
Taking responsibility, keeping commitments, and keeping promises to ourselves it’s doable.
Take small steps, and create small goals, from healing yourself to investing in yourself and creating a happy, positive life.
Remember, you are amazing and unique, and I want you to live life to the fullest.
I believe in you, and I want you to believe in you.
Stay positive, friends.