The Powerful Calmness Response

Throughout our day, we just don’t have the sense of calm, peace or serenity.  I’ve come to the conclusion that our daily modern lives are full of stress, anxiety over daily tasks, social anxiety and more.

I go through my days the same way sometimes -full of stress, but I have some tools to help me lower that stress level.  I’ve learned how to calm myself, breathe and just relax.

I’m not perfect at the techniques but it does help me.  It’s a series of techniques I’ve developed over the past years of dealing with my anxiety.

You can’t control what happens

You can change your environment, but you can’t change what will happen in this new environment.  You can’t control how people will act, what they will say or do.  The only thing you can control is your response to what happens.  You can respond with anger or anxiety but this doesn’t help the problem.  It will make you look bad by acting out in a bad manner.  Instead respond with calmness and peace.

Join me and let’s find out how we can do this.

The Calmness Response

1.) The Calm Response

When someone says something you don’t like, or is mean and nasty or something is very stressful, most people will immediately take action.  They will have a nasty response to the situation by saying something mean.  This doesn’t help the situation and can sometimes be harmful and later may regret what they’ve said.   Other’s will get angry, feel sorry for themselves and wish things were different.  They’ll say “Why can’t people be different?”

Watch how you respond.  It’s ok to take a couple seconds instead of acting instantly.  Breathe and think before you speak.

2.)  Create a habit that helps you stay calm

Anger, anxiety, feeling overwhelmed, drinking and drugs, withdrawing from people, eating junk food, binge shopping, procrastinating or so much more are all unhealthy responses to our daily stress.   Instead of doing these bad habits, we need to find new and better ways of coping with our stress.  When something stresses you out, pay attention with how you feel and deal with it.  Instead of turning to these bad habits, replace them with healthier choices.  Healthier choices can include: exercise, yoga, drinking tea, a massage, taking a walk, meditation or just talking with a friend or loved one.

3.) Reduce Noise

Our daily lives are filled with noise.  Cell phones, notifications, social media, visual junk, news, media.  Honestly, none of this are things we need in our lives.  None of it is necessary to live.  Create a space where you can be calm and relaxed without all the noise.  A place that is peaceful and quiet.

4.) Single Tasking

Instead of multi-tasking try single-tasking.  Meaning instead of trying to do multiple things at once which stresses us out, try doing the most important task first.   Simple things as walking, riding the train or commuting people are texting and connected to their social media.  People are emailing and talking on the phone, watching TV while eating, watching videos or reading blogs.  Doing so many things at once starts to create a great anxiety in our lives.  It takes over and is present in everything we do.

What if you instead just walk.  Seriously, just walk.  Nothing else.  What if you talk to someone.  I know we talk to people everyday, but are we really even fully present?  We’re talking but were just waiting for the next thing to say.  We’re paying attention to our phone or something else.

When reading a book or article, stick to that one thing.  Don’t switch to something else right away.   How about going through your email one at a time until the inbox is empty?

There truly is peace and calmness in doing one thing at a time.  Focusing on that one task makes it more enjoyable

5.)  Morning Rituals

Most people just rush out the door.  They get up, get ready and go.  What about slowing things down a bit.  I wake up early, maybe an hour before I would normally and just meditate.  Clear things out of my head and just breathe.  After a few minutes I’ll do a few calming yoga poses.  I’ll have a good healthy breakfast and get myself ready.  Doing a small ritual everyday can really help you.  I know it does for me.  Some days I’ll throw in some exercise, it really gets my blood flowing and wakes me up.

Find what works for you and make the most out of your morning.

6.)  Don’t take things personally

Piggy backing off of number 1 in this article, Your response, is to not take things personally.   When people say things, we tend to take it personally, we’ll interpret it as an attack against us.

  • Someone at work is acting rudely!    –How could they treat us like this?
  • Our kids aren’t cleaning their rooms!   –Our children are defying us!
  • My spouse doesn’t show as much affection as they used to.  –He/She doesn’t care anymore

Some people in the world even think the universe is out to get them.  Truth is – It’s not personal.  So many people are going through so many difficulties in their lives.  We all have issues were dealing with.  Try not to interpret their actions as a personal affront against you.  Picture it as something we see everyday and don’t give it a second thought.  A leaf falling, a bird flying or chirping.  You can either respond to all this with a stressful mindset, or a calm one.

7.)  Being Grateful

Many people can talk about gratitude, but do they actually apply this principle in their daily lives?  There are so many things we can be grateful for but we don’t give it a second look.  We think negatively with most situations.

Related Article: Handling Your Negative Thoughts the Positive Way

Our boss may be angry, our co-workers are rude, our kids are misbehaving.  Maybe someone doesn’t love us.  Do these cause us anxiety or depress us?  Yes.  But can we still be grateful?  Absolutely!   Stop complaining and start being more grateful.  This one thing alone can change your whole aspect on life.

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