How To Stop Seeking Others Approval
Are you in the habit of seeking other people’s approval?
Doing things to get other people’s approval or not doing something because you’re waiting for validation?
Then you’ll want to stick around and read this post because I’m going to share with you that you don’t need someone else’s approval to feel good about yourself.
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It’s essential to take a step back and recognize that depending on others’ validation can hurt your confidence and self-esteem.
And you don’t need to seek approval from others.
Yea, our brains are wired to seek approval, and as humans, we share an innate drive to connect with others.
In ancient or prehistoric times, rejection would trigger fear for our survival.
If you were kicked out or isolated from the group or tribe you were in, your life would be at risk.
Our brains adapted to avoid disapproval because the consequences of being rejected were so extreme.
Thankfully, we’re no longer dodging predators, but our aversion to rejection is instilled in our brains.
Also, when you grow up, your environment and your family life can lead to seeking approval from others.
Then later in life, we continue to want the approval and validation of other people and, just like with our parents, hope they’ll give it to us.
When we have low self-esteem or confidence in ourselves, we look for others’ approval and trust their opinions more than our own.
We don’t trust ourselves and think their opinion is more valid.
If you’re struggling to validate yourself and constantly seeking validation from others, ask yourself the question, do I have a low self-perception of myself, someone who is not good enough or not worthy?
On a positive note, you can learn to turn this thinking around and build confidence in yourself, and with higher self-esteem, you’re not going to care as much.
Here Are 5 Ways To Stop Seeking Approval From Others
It’s challenging, and you may not be able to eliminate the desire to be appreciated, but you can change your need to depend on it entirely. Here are five ways you can stop seeking validation.
- Understand Why You’re Seeking Approval – First, you need to understand why you’re seeking approval from others in the first place.
It can be easier to eliminate the behavior when you comprehend why you seek approval. Take a minute to reflect on your childhood as it may contribute to your current behavior.
Did you struggle to make friends in school and conceive a fear of being rejected? Were you taught to respect authority growing up if you seek approval at work?
Before you look for approval, ask yourself, “Why don’t I trust myself?” Also, ask, “What do I think about this?” You may find that you’re uncertain or want someone else to like you.
Understanding your thinking and feelings about why you seek approval is key to overcoming it. - Practice Self-Care and Self-Love – Start speaking kindly to yourself and replacing negative habits with positive ones.
Recognize that you don’t need someone’s approval to feel good about yourself. Begin self-care time for yourself to relax and enjoy the things you love.
Create a DIY self-care kit with your favorite slippers, bath items, a book, journal.
Whatever you like, put them together and schedule twenty to thirty minutes of “you time.” - Don’t Compare Yourself To Others – When you compare yourself to others, you’re hurting your confidence, and it’s one of the worst things you can do.
Accept yourself for who you are right now in the present moment. If you look for perfection, realize perfection is unrealistic. Looking at social media only shows a small glimpse into a person’s life, one point in time.
But in reality, they’re going through difficulties in their life too. We’re all a work in progress, and seeing that other people have similar life problems should help you realize that they aren’t perfect either.
Understand that you’re growing in positive ways and be the best version of who you are. - Replace The Negative Voice In Your Head – Did you know that we are often our own worst critics?
That negative voice in your head is judgmental and critical of your every action. Little by little, that voice breaks down your confidence.
The next time you find yourself talking negatively to yourself, be aware of your thoughts, acknowledge them, and replace them with more positive ones.
For example, instead of saying, “I always make mistakes,” say to yourself, ” I do many things well.”
Another example of changing your negative thoughts would be, change “I don’t deserve a good life” to saying, ” I deserve to be happy and healthy.” - Take A Social Media Break – Believe it or not, social media ends up turning you into someone who craves approval from others.
When we post on social media, we end up in a state of constant social comparison. If someone else got 100 likes, we would need to have the same to feel validated.
Someone with low self-esteem and is approval-seeking might post-stage photos, apply filters, and choose their outfit to post a photo with a caption like, “Home and bored.”
Take yourself away from social media for a while and reflect on how you want to live your life. Find fun things to do with your loved ones and don’t feel the need to prove yourself.
Take Away
As you build your self-confidence and begin to trust yourself, you’ll recognize you don’t need to seek approval from others.
The only person you truly need to seek approval and validation from is yourself.
Trusting yourself and the decisions you make is an ongoing process, and in the end, you’ll have higher self-confidence and rely less on other people’s approval.
I hope this post has been helpful to you, and remember you are amazing and unique, and I want you to live life to the fullest.
I believe in you, and I want you to believe in you.
Stay positive, friends.