9 Simple Tips to Focus On What You Can Control
There are many things in our lives that we can not control, and the stress of everyday life can be a lot to handle, but the trick is to focus on what you can control.
When we focus on things we can’t control, it’s easy to spiral out of control with our negative thoughts.
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We begin worrying about all the bad things that might happen, our judgment becomes cloudy, and we begin to warp our reality.
We remain optimistic and productive on good days but begin worrying about our future and what it may hold on bad days.
We imagine the negativity, begin living it, and feel helpless.
Our thoughts create our emotions and our reality. When we think negatively, we feel negative emotions.
Luckily, you can control many more important things in life, and focusing on them gives you a more positive mindset.
Focusing On What You Can Control Takes Discipline
First, we need to realize that changing what you focus on takes practice and discipline.
Choosing to think differently and changing what you focus on takes time.
You’ll have times when your focus is on negative situations; when this happens, acknowledge your thoughts, put them to rest, and move on to more healthy and positive things you can control.
Over time, and as you practice, you’ll get better at it.
Make A Focus On What Your Can Control List
To start, focus on what you can control and list where you’ll write down everything in your control.
A few ideas I came up with are:
- Your Breath – We breathe all day long without even thinking about it. Focusing on your breath and learning breathing techniques can help you lower stress and anxiety and help you feel in control.
- Diet and Exercise – Choosing what you eat and how physically active you are can help keep illness at bay. Eating a balanced diet and exercising takes discipline but will lead to a healthier lifestyle.
- Your Attitude – We can’t control what happens to us, but we can control how we react to the situation. Becoming angry and frustrated leads to us being stressed out. Take a deep breath, think for a minute, and respond calmly.
- Self-Care – Taking time for yourself will help your mental well-being. Be sure to schedule time each week for yourself to unwind and de-stress.
These are a few things that you can focus on and control. Take a few minutes and create your own list, and you’ll be amazed at just how much you are in control of.
Now let’s dive a little deeper into a few more ways to focus on what you can control.
Change Your Mindset
Our mindset impacts our lives and our chances of success.
The Professor of Psychology at Stanford, Carol Dweck, studied two mindsets: fixed and growth mindsets.
People with a growth mindset believe they have great potential and can accomplish anything through persistence and hard work.
People with a fixed mindset avoid situations where they might fail and avoid challenges because they believe they are born with a specified level of talent or intelligence and can’t be better than they are.
Focusing on growth, working hard, and being open-minded will set you up for success.
If you want to learn more, please check out her fantastic book, Mindset: The New Psychology of Success.
Mindfulness – Focus On The Present Moment
Practicing mindfulness has become very popular over the past few years, and it’s keeping your attention on the present moment.
Focusing on the present moment brings peace and calmness because you’re not worrying about the future or thinking about the past, which can distract you.
Being mindful and staying in the present moment brings you in tune with your current thoughts, emotions, and sensations.
Observe your surroundings, the sounds around you, and the smells in the air, and let the obsessing about what might happen or what could have been go.
Mindfulness allows you to regain control, re-focus on what you’re doing right now, and not be caught up in negative thoughts or emotions.
10 Exercises You can do are:
- Breathing Exercises
- Meditation
- Mindful Observation
- Mindful Awareness
- Mindful Listening
- Mindful Immersion
- Anchoring
- Finger Breathing
- Yoga
- Mindful Journaling
Mindful Breathing to Focus On What You Can Control
One thing you can most certainly control is your breathing.
Our breath is powerful and controlling; it can help reduce stress and anxiety.
Practicing mindful breathing becomes easier the more you do it, but it takes discipline.
Here is one way you can practice breathing to help you focus on what you can control.
- Take one hand and put it on your chest. Now put your other hand on your belly.
- Inhale slowly through your nose for a count of five. Pay attention to your hand rising on your belly as you do this.
- Hold your breath for a count of two and exhale out your mouth slowly. Pay attention to your hand on your belly as you let the air out.
- Do this until you feel more relaxed, and remember that your breathing is one thing you can control.
Take Control Of Your Eating Habits
How you eat is significant for a strong and healthy body, and eating healthy is something you can control, but again, it takes discipline.
Living a healthy lifestyle is pretty straightforward:
- Don’t smoke
- Limit alcohol
- Eat well
- Exercise
- Drink lots of water
If you need help or reminders, check out this fantastic company I found called Noom.
Noom is a weight loss app that uses a psychology-based approach to improve your eating habits.
According to its website, Noom uses technology to “help you change not just how you eat, but how you think.”
Take Care Of Your Mental Health
Being mentally healthy is just as important as physical health, especially when life feels out of control.
Cultivating positivity, taking care of yourself emotionally, and your social well-being can help increase your quality of life.
If you focus on everything you can’t control, you’ll constantly be stressed and think negatively about everything.
When you learn to think positively, have a healthy, positive mindset, and focus on what you can control, you’ll be less stressed and happier and even increase your self-esteem.
To help you, check out my courses, where you’ll learn how to build your self-esteem, think more positively, and be happier.
I want you to be all you can be by changing your thoughts and feelings about yourself.
Self-Care Focus On What You Can Control
Taking time out for self-care is essential because you need “me” time.
A self-care routine doesn’t have to take hours or a lot of time out of your busy schedule, but taking this time will do wonders for your mental health.
Even as little as twenty minutes a day, relaxing, unwinding, and doing what you want will help you de-stress and recharge.
A few things you could do are:
- Take a bath
- Take a nap
- Celebrate and treat yourself
Whatever it is, make sure it’s fun and something you enjoy doing. Think about making a self-care kit, as this will have all the things you love in one place for your self-care time.
Positive Outlook
One of the best things you can do to control your life is to have a positive outlook on everything.
Instead of focusing on all the bad things, try and find something good in each situation. When things don’t go as planned, look at it as an opportunity for growth or change.
Think about how you can use this experience to make you stronger and wiser.
Looking at life positively will help you stay in control of your feelings, even when things are out of your control. It’s all about looking at the situation from a different perspective.
Let Go Of Painful Emotions
Sometimes, it’s hard to let go of emotions we don’t want to feel.
But when you feel overwhelmed and out of control, it’s important to express your feelings in a healthy way.
This could be through writing, talking to someone you trust, or engaging in other activities that help you process the pain and difficult emotions.
Tips To Process Painful Emotions
Fully Experience Your Emotion
Emotions can be like a stormy sea – they swell and crash.
Instead of rejecting them, accept them as part of your experience in life.
Don’t allow yourself to become overwhelmed by one emotion; sometimes, when we feel intense anger or grief, we are tempted to dwell on these feelings for too long, which only worsens things!
Remember that all emotions come and go eventually if you don’t try holding onto them forever.
Love Your Emotions
Emotions are an inevitable part of life, and it can be challenging to practice the love that these experiences deserve.
We often rush through or judge our painful emotions too harshly – but why not take a moment to accept them without judgment?
Allowing yourself time to recognize your emotions with self-compassion is critical; they may feel uncomfortable while being expressed, but anger, fear, and sadness are just as valid expressions as happiness.
Allow yourself space for emotional acceptance today!
Observe Your Emotions
Don’t let yourself get consumed by your emotions.
Acknowledge their presence, then stand back and examine them objectively to break free of the hold they may have on you.
Try sitting with how it feels in your body or visualizing an image related to it – this can help establish perspective when observing from a healthy distance.
This is often referred to as “the What Skill,” making certain emotion doesn’t overwhelm but stays at arm’s length for safe examination and understanding.
You Are Not Your Emotion
Whatever emotion you may feel, it doesn’t define who you are.
Just because your emotions run high doesn’t mean they can control your actions.
It’s important to recognize and acknowledge them without letting them take over – sometimes, sitting with the ebb and flow of our inner lives is all we need to do!
Recognizing other feelings as well will help us understand ourselves better- don’t forget that what feels like an intense moment now won’t last forever; a reminder for when things seem overwhelming or just too much.
Take a Moment To Reflect
When life feels out of control, take a few moments to reflect on how far you have come and how much you have achieved in the face of adversity.
Remember that even though things may be difficult now, they will not stay the same forever.
And that no matter how difficult the journey may seem, you can handle whatever comes your way.
Sometimes taking a few moments to appreciate yourself and celebrate your successes can help put things in perspective and restore feelings of control.
So take a moment today to reflect on all you’ve achieved – it’s sure to bring some much-needed perspective and peace of mind.
Take Away
Focusing on what we can’t control takes our attention from what we can control.
It takes discipline and time to change your mindset, so be patient and do your best to focus on what you can control.
You’ll be less stressed, have a positive attitude, and look at the world differently.